Cat Naps or Rather, Baby Naps

My little one is 4 and half months old now, and I can't seem to get her on the 9/1 nap schedule. She wakes up about 7, then I try and put her down and 9, and she won't have it. it maybe will last for an hour at most, and then I have to get her up, and then she'll be tired again by 11, and then she'll take a good nap, but then I have to give here a later nap around 3. So she takes 3 naps a day instead of 2 long ones. Is this just normal, and I should be glad for the extra time on my hands, or is there something else I can do?

I don't think normal is a word that ever works with naps - oh, how I wish. But, waking up at 7 - that's not too bad to start with! And, I think that it is still fairly common to be on three naps.

I think transitioning from three to two, and from two to one is one of the harder things to do.

The only advice I can offer is that the first nap of the day is the most important nap. If you can get a good first nap in, the whole day goes more smoothly, including following naps. So, here's something you could try: give an earlier first nap. I've always noticed that little ones get tired so quickly in the mornings (literally 45 minutes or an hour after they awaken). So, watch your little one, and the first time she yawns or rubs her eyes, put her down then. And then do everything in your power to be perfectly silent that first hour. It is your best chance for her learning to take a two hour nap. Once she gets into deep sleep, she'll stay asleep that next hour.

So, to recap, put her down earlier! Be as silent as you can (while you are experimenting) to give her a chance to stay asleep longer.

I know it is our nature to think, I've got an hour, what can I get done. But, if you read or stay really quiet, you can let her natural sleeping habits take place. Of course, third and fourth babies don't get the luxury and still turn out wonderfully. But, while you have the chance, help her take that longer nap, because it will ultimately make your life easier when you don't feel tethered to the crib.

Anyhow, does anyone else have ideas?

Painting: Road with Cypress and Star by Van Gogh

Learning to Read

What was that website again to help kids with reading where you put the letters into the machine and words come out?
I think you are thinking of...The Letter Factory and the Talking Words Factory by Leap Frog. Love them, and think they taught my child to read - by the by, saw the movies at Target for 9.99 just last week...As for a website - Starfall is all the rage amongst starting to read Kindergarteners.

Screaming

My 18-month-old son has been going through a big screaming phase recently. I'm wondering if these are just normal tantrums. He seems to scream when I can't give him my undivided attention (e.g. I'm cooking dinner) or when he gets frustrated that he can't communicate what he wants (he doesn't have many words yet). Any thoughts on how to survive until he can talk more and on helping him not be so upset when I can't give him all my attention?

I feel like this is the cop out answer...but I think that screaming is just part of it all. If I could think of a way to entirely be rid of screaming I am certain I could win some award - a Nobel Peace Prize perhaps!

But, I think that there are some things you could probably do to help.

"Use your words" - This is a favorite phrase of mine. I think that little ones that are starting to use words forget to use them entirely when they are frustrated so they fall back on their infantile way to deal with needs - crying. So, sometimes, calmly saying, "Use your words," can actually really help.

Let him help you - It might take twice as long to cook dinner, but if you get him out his own bowl and spoon and entreat him to help you with dinner it can help. I know that my three year old is a permanent helper now (he's been sitting on the counter so long, he now knows it is his roll, so he comes running into the kitchen at the sound of a mixer - to help).

Talk, Non-Stop - I think it goes against most of our nature to just talk and talk and talk. But, when you are cooking dinner and your hands are full, your mouth is probably not (except for occasional tasty morsels). So, I would narrate what you are doing - give your own little cooking show for your child. Help him decide which lettuce you should use for the salad. Tell him that you are chopping up an orange carrot. Tell him what is happening, but also use it as a time for imagination. If your child likes trucks, or balls, talk about those things. Say things like, "It is a good thing the garbage truck isn't in our kitchen because he may smash these carrots and then we couldn't eat them...you know, the strange stuff that kids like to hear.

Painting: Acceptance by Cezanne

To Do Ideas

Every week, my son's teacher gives a list of fun learning ideas - it always helps spark my creativity - so I thought I'd share this week's...

Play With Me - Ideas for Learning
1. Take a walk together. When you get home, draw a picture and write a message about what you saw.
2. Say your phone number. Write it down. Learn your address.
3. Help fold the laundry.
4. Count the windows in your house. Help wash a window for spring cleaning.
5. Look for something beautiful outside. Tell someone about it.
6. Write a list of 5 things that are red in your house.
7. Read a book.
8. Put on some music and make up a dance.
9. Find a picture in a magazine and make up a story about it.
10. Draw nutritious foods that you like on a paper plate.
11. Hop, skip, gallop, and jump outside.
12. Say some nursery rhymes. Tell which words rhyme.
13. Practice what you would do if there were a fire at your house.
14. Find 8 objects that start with "B."
15. Teach a song to your family.
16. Think of words that rhyme with "man," "cat," "like," "hot," and "bee."
17. Cook something for your family to eat.
18. Go on a shape hunt around your house. Find squares, triangles, and circles.
19. Play "I SPY" with beginning letters: "I spy something that starts with D."
20. Name the months in a year.
21. Draw a picture for someone you love.
22. Read the cereal boxes in your cupboard.
23. Count the spoons in your drawer. Count the forks. Add them together.
24. Make an ABC book about any topic or theme you like...The ABC's of Valentine's Day (For each letter of the alphabet think of a word that starts with that letter and relate it to Valentine's Day...A is for _____, B is for ____, C is for ____, etc.)

Thanks, Maribeth!

Medication Question

My 8 month old son recently had two doses of a medication that was transfered through my breastmilk (doctor's said it wouldn't, but side effect tabs and on-line medicine info confirmed it) which has made him throw up violently several times. It was scary! But the medication is out of my system and out of HIS now and he acts happy and healthy all day long...but he is waking up in the middle of the night throwing up! Is this just a case of a weakened reflex or should I worry that something else is wrong?

I am so sorry.

I would definately call your doctor and at very least talk to the "advice nurse." I'm not a doctor and I don't know about the specific medications you were on...but I think it is best to be safe. Isn't it great to know that we can talk to our doctors without having to drag our kids into the office!

But, personally, certain medicines last longer in some people's system than other's - I can take a Claritin and be great for three weeks, it has always lasted longer than 24 hours for me. But, I know that I am really sensitive to all medicines...you may just have a really sensitive one on your hands.

I hope he gets all-the-way better soon!

Bedtime Troubles

My five year old is going through a bedtime regression. She use to go to bed fine after her nightly routine, but recently she throws HUGE tantrums. She claims she's afraid of the dark, or needs water, or wants someone to come sleep with her because it's not fair that mommy and daddy get to sleep together. Nothing in our routine has changed and we've tried everything (a lamp, a night light, a bedtime water bottle, even locking her in)! Any ideas on what might be causing this and what else we can do?

I am soooo sorry. Kidney stones is my excuse. But, you probably talked to a sister or a friend and already got better advice then I could give (isn't that the genius of community) but in case you haven't here is a thought.

I feel like this idea is true with adults as well as kids. Somehow, we can all get focused on our fears or sorrows and the more we focus the bigger they feel. So, no doubt, she is really feeling afraid or worried. But, instead of trying to fix the thirst or dark. I would try from a totally different angle.

I would get her favorite doll/stuffed animal or even get a new one (preferable a baby or young animal), and then tell your daughter that this baby doesn't like to go to bed. In fact, the baby doesn't know how to go to bed. I would start the dialog in the morning and keep it going all day. Help her mother the baby. And then before bed, take your little one AND the doll to get water, turn on the light. And have your daughter tell the doll all of the reasons it is ok. She will become the authority. She will be the one taking care of the doll. Sometimes, it just takes a different focus...

Another thing I always say, is, "You don't have to go to sleep. You can stay awake all night. You just have to lie still. But, certainly don't close your eyes." You could let her listen to a cd of lulluby music so she can focus on that instead of her fears.

A final idea. You can tell her that you can't sleep in her room, but that you will miss her so much that you will sit outside of the bedroom door. And really do it. Do it for a week or two. She'll get up and out of bed and see that you are really there and it will help build the confidence. It takes a little while - but it is worth it when the sleep routine is back to do-able!

Painting by Sharp: Blanket Bull, Crow Papoose 1908