Fists Full of Hair

My son is 9 months-old and he LOVES to pull hair. Is there anything I can do to teach him not to do it? I always feel really bad when he pulls others hair while they are holding him...

In my notice and experience - babies hands just love to grab and then stay in a fist. Its really what they are best at. So, with each new handful of hair you can say - wow, he is really getting good at that. What a talent...

Alright, that's not the answer you wanted - and I get it - but teaching a baby not to pull hair - that's a tough one.

But, I think it is avoidable. I've thought and thought - and here's my best solution. Before you let someone else hold him - you are going to have to fill his hands. Something small (not small enough to be a choking hazard) but enough to keep him interested and busy. So...those infant Tylenol bottles - the squeezy end - try that. Or a marker - you could even glue the lid on permanently if you were worried. But, if that's too Bob Dole, then you could try a rattle, or a string, or even a green bean.

Let us know if it works, and don't feel too bad. You can warn whoever you hand him too - but in all honesty - I kind of love a baby reaching up and grabbing my hair - so don't worry too much - because there are silly people like me out there!

Sketch: Leda by Leonardo DaVinci

Creative Play

Do you have a book of ideas or something that you use to think creatively? I'm always trying to think of things outside the pool, park, bubbles, playdoh, reading time etc.

No. Not really. But, a long time ago (pre-kids) I asked every mother I knew to make a list of their favorite activities. Things they really did - specifics. I compiled it and sorted it by age group and inside/outside activities.

So, putting food coloring in a spray bottle and decorating the snow was perfect - at the time. But now I'm in California and the snow thing isn't really helpful. So I need to compile a new one (and you can to -- wherever you are). It was really fun to see what different people wrote ie...

• giving all junk mail to the kids to play post office
• playing "restaurant" and writing your kids order down for lunch
• recording your voice (or Grandma's voice from far away) reading a story and letting them play it over and over
• letting them use teaspoons to measure water and put it in a bigger bowl
• drawing with glue and adding sand
• doing pictures by tearing paper only

I always try to think of one idea (just one) to do tomorrow - right as I am falling to sleep. Its the last thing on my mind.

There are also some good books - I usually just read them when I'm at the book store and store away an idea or two. But The Toddler's Busy Book and others by Trish Kuffner I like. They just seem more doable, I mean who really turns a potato into a clock?!

Oh, and I love the Rainy Day Activity Jar I read about on the Stitching Barn - but you could just use it always!


Painting: The Blind Girl by Sir John Everett Millais

Pattern Trains

What activities can I be doing with my daughter (she will be three in October) now that are fun and educational?

You know when kids enter the why, why, why phase or what, what, what phase...sometimes you want to ban questions. But, its really a gift because instead of simply giving an answer - you get to help them learn the process for finding answers. But, here's something they don't ask about, but it might be fun to introduce...

One more idea for educational play...Pattern Trains.

You know how kids are tested in school and all the way through their life on patterns. Somehow, someone important who makes tests thinks patterns are really important. Me, not so much. But, I wanted to try and help "break the code" of patterns. Ultimately, so that my child could start recognizing them early.

You know a lot of kids love trains - well I decided to call patterns - Pattern Trains. And building patterns was just a way of building a long train (except this train does not connect unless its a pattern).

So, the first time I bought Starbursts and did a simple every other pattern. It was more fun (because although we weren't eating the candy, playing with candy is fun). And we would make long red, yellow, red, yellow pattern trains. We would get more complicated with a red, yellow, pink, red, yellow, pink. And I would say something like "Red, yellow, pink, red, yellow, p-p-p- what comes next?"

Somehow thinking of patterns as trains helped unlock the code for my child (and me a little bit too). Anyhow, then we used those colored cotton balls, and kept expanding. We would build a pattern train with toys...lego, teddy bear, lego, teddy bear (the lego being our "connector") trust me - connectors are important to kids. It helped!


Painting: Red Cross Train Passing a Village by Gino Severini

Giving Babies Limits

How do you teach a little one-about 8 months old-how to stay away from things like wires? I want my little one to be able to go where she wants in the house, but of course she's drawn to things she shouldn't have-like all of the wires under the computer. And I want her to learn that there are somethings that shouldn't be played with, even if they look like fun. Is there anyway to teach her to leave these things alone? Or should I just succumb and completely baby proof the entire house? Now that she's mobile, she doesn't even play with her toys-she only wants to climb and crawl to things she shouldn't.

Yes, baby proof. But, I think that after 6 months, a crawling baby is the perfect time to start developing limits - I hate the idea of rules so young. But just think of them as limits, not rules or mandates. They seem to have an easier time if there are limits from the beginning - not many, but a few.

The fireplace seems to draw babies - and it just isn't safe. So, after I did this first idea for about a week - I never had a problem. My baby would crawl on by after I did this...

The first idea - make a loud sound. Right as they are about to touch the fireplace - a "honk" or a duck-sounding, loudish "aaa!" A loud - but short sound. I know that kids aren't animals - but the simple Pavlovian method of doing something unpleasant helps them associate surprising sound with touching the fireplace. They are so little, that they learn pretty quickly. Does that make sense?

The second idea - 20 seconds of holding their arms still. So, right after they have gotten to the fireplace you (instead of saying no - or saying anything) just go to their side and looking away, you hold their arms still at their side. After they realize they are stuck, count to 20 (it will make them a bit frustrated) then calmly say, if you touch the fireplace, you can't use your arms. Short. Sweet. And again they associate something they would rather not with an unpleasant moment. This idea comes from The New First Three Years.

I would only do one at a time and see which one your baby responds to. Good luck!

If anyone has another idea, please share!

Painting: The Delphic Sibyl by Michelangelo detail from the Sistine Chapel

TV Time - Yea or Nay?

What do you think of videos? I was strictly opposed before, but my child LOVES them! My mom lets her watch Dora or Elmo in the car and she gets so excited and starts singing along and doing the moves. I wonder if maybe she learns more or just as much from the video as from playing with a toy. Obviously, time interacting with me or another human is better than the video, but do you think the video is a bad idea categorically? Thanks.

When I wake up and feel sick - the kind of sick where I know I'll be stuck in bed all day - I feel so grateful for videos. I am grateful that there is such good programming, enough to fill an entire day and more. Seriously, your child may just be the next baby Einstein after all that they learn.

And the studies I know prove that a child watching television is very different than adults - it is so interactive. They have to shout "Para!" or jump up and down or help find those Blue's Clues. And the interaction makes it very different for children than adults.

Having said that, I don't think its really about the quality or even how much joy they find. I really think its more about their behavior and yours. And what I mean is, do your kids watch tv or movies out of habit or out of novelty? Do you use the video as a tool or a crutch?

I remember forever ago, I had moved and found myself without cable - there wasn't a single channel I could find, even using bunny ears. And for one solid week I would walk around and wonder what to do - especially in the evening. I would turn the tv on and off - out of habit - clearly nothing would be on. I would think about shows and count down until my cable returned. And by about day two I realized how addictive it can be - how my behavior had changed - I didn't have a system for living without a tv - and I had turned into a pacing tiger waiting instead of living.

But of course, my kids watch movies and tv. We love Backyardigans, Elmo, Cars. But, I try not to let it become a significant part of the day - and make sure there are days we don't do it at all - because there is a lot of fun to be had - and its nice to know we still can fill our day with play. Our imaginations and play world is just as fun. We aren't in a rut.

If you try having a "no tv day" and it is really painful - it can really get you thinking. Does your child ask for movies over and over when they are bored instead of asking for playdough over and over? Are you finding yourself without things to do or without new ideas? I think a day off is a great measure! If its no problem - then all the better!

Anyhow, keep watching, and thank goodness on regular days, sick days, and especially those "no good, terrible" days that we have such a great tool.

Crib to Bed Transition

Any clues on how/when to transition kids from their crib to a toddler bed? Ben (21 months) climbed out of his crib the other day. I'm hoping that the fall scared him enough not to do it again, but I'm starting to think toddler bed now especially since his little brother will be wanting the crib in the next few months anyway. Also, have you ever used a crib tent? What do you think of those?

Timing is hard to answer. Because the answer is - when both your child and you are ready. Just because he's ready, doesn't mean you are.

So, if he's climbing out of a crib - he's really getting close. But, if you aren't ready, then you can always lower the bar so that its simply safer to get out on his own. As for the crib tent - I have no idea!! It sounds like a great fix to prolong crib time and keep your little one safer - but I have no first hand knowledge - I don't even know who to ask. Sorry, I'm letting you down.

You have to be ready too, because transitioning takes a lot of effort.

So, first start talking about it. Start pointing out friends that sleep in beds. Talk about your bed and how much you love your bed. And after a week of "prepping" conversations - ask if he wants one.

Then I would start with a trip to buy sheets (of course you need to decide if twin or toddler bed is what you want ahead of time and I don't really have an opinion). You want your child to be so excited about the transition. And if you aren't really keen about Transformer sheets then get a Transformer pillow case at least. You want them to feel like they have made the decision - not that it is thrust upon them.

Now, you probably know if your child is good at change or struggles with it - how does he do when you leave him with a babysitter? or at nursery? If he isn't great at it, then you will really have to ease him into the new bed. You will have to camp out on the floor the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th night (but let him try the first night - who knows it could be great!)

The hardest thing about a real bed is the freedom. The freedom to get up and walk around. The freedom to come and get you. So, just be prepared for two weeks of pushing the limits. He'll test you. And I would suggest...that every time he gets up - you immediately take him right back in. No words, not really warm, just the action. It may take 15 times. But, if you stick with it, he'll learn. But, try whatever system for a good two weeks before giving in!

What am I forgetting?

Painting: detail of Starry Night over the Rhone by Vincent van Gogh

True Story

Tonight was one of those nights...you know the times you just hold on and hope that bedtime will come sooner. And once they are in bed, you just hope that they will fall asleep to afford you a break - just a small break.

I think it started with a finger nail accidentally being cut too short - we're not talking about too short in my opinion - just in his. Anyhow, it turned into a bawling, shouting, screaming performance. And when one child cries, others follow.

Somehow, I was able to stay calm (I was secretly laughing at the performance which helps me keep my sanity). But, by the time all bodies were in bed, the crying was still not over. The performance was clearly moving to the second act. So, I had to resort to my never fail method - THE STORY.

I am a story teller through and through. And when I start with "Once upon a time there was a little boy named Toby..." little ears start to listen and I tell it as if though their is no crying, using a soft voice. I tell stories that are just for the listener. So, tonight was a story that started with Toby drawing a space shuttle - a space shuttle with weapons that suddenly detached from the paper and started growing and growing. Toby's only hope was to draw a second space shuttle with shields, etc. I took my time and talked slowly. By the end, the tears had stopped - hooray!

I have told stories to tired children on the subway, on long walks when they don't think they can walk any further, and right in the middle of stores to distract them. Its worked on every child I have met. It doesn't matter - as long as I tell a story about something important to the listener. So, for my two year old its garbage trucks. And to a crowd - I jump from dinosaur to princess to trains made out of candy.

And, if you are thinking you aren't a story teller - just start trying it. It will be hard to come up with crazy tales the first few times. But, you'll get better at it. Who knew - you needed practice to make up fantastical stories.

Anyhow, I thought I would share a my own moment!

Painting: The Boyhood of Raleigh by John Everett Millais

Walking

How do you help a 15 month old baby {my daughter} that could easily walk on her own, but doesn't have the confidence yet learn to walk? I don't mind {ok, I love it} that she likes holding my hand, but do sometimes wonder when she will walk by herself.

Two ideas!

One. Instead of walking around the house holding her little fingers, hold a marker and let her hold the other end of the marker. Its easier to let go of a thing than a person - especially a special person like a mom. So, keep stretching away, maybe another larger toy, next, in between.

Two. Put all of your chairs on their side and line them up. So they create a long rail to walk along. I remember this was so much fun - we had to do it everyday. And learning to walk just takes a lot of practice sometimes. So, the more they walk on their own, the better.

WALKING (my favorite walking song - click the title to hear a snippet on iTunes)

Walking

walking

walking

walking

Seems so easy now

But I remember when I was small

And I did not know how

I would take two steps and then fall down...

But up I'd stand, dust my hands

And tell myself I know I can

(Words: Martha Cheney /
Music: Hap Palmer) ©Hap-Pal Music, Inc.

Painting: detail from Woman with a Parasol and a Small Child by Pierre Auguste Renoir

Educational Play - Start with Vowels

What activities can I be doing with my daughter (she will be three in October) now that are fun and educational?

Its so fun to hear from you! I'm glad you tracked me down. Congrats on your daughter! I divided your question in two - and I'll answer about Preschools soon...

“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.”

- Pablo Picasso

I'm in love with this quote and the question you pose is similar. So, first, I'll just say what I think "educational" means to me. There is so much stuff out there - the name of every construction vehicle, the name of animals and animals, you can learn every planet, Greek God's, every car model, obviously the list goes on and on. And I think that it really isn't the stuff that's important. Its more the process. The most educational thing you can do for your child is help them be interested in the world. So I think good "educational" play - means its a lot of fun and interesting.

I remember scooping my little one in my lap and trying to read to him, only to have him squirm away. And at first I was crushed - why won't my child listen to a book being read? Its because he was more interested in building a block tower at the moment (or whatever). What I have learned is that being interesting in what they like is the best place to start. So, if they like trucks - learn everything there is about trucks - go find one to sit in. Read truck books, build playdough trucks, park the trucks to line up into big A's...

What?! You ask - ok, here's the little trick. Whatever they are really interested in - I use as the tool to open new doors. So, let's say your child loves plastic necklaces, and princess jewelry. Then play princess with them, and before you put on the lovely pink treat put it down on the ground and exclaim, "Oh, I am so lucky, I have an "O" necklace. This is the most wonderful thing in the whole world. O, o, o, o, oooo!" Then show your daughter her necklace makes an "O" - Show her her magical "O" ring. And your excitment will help her start to learn letters. Never with flashcards or pressure. But, just sneak little moments in like that! Start with vowels! And in a few days, use the necklace to make an "I" on the ground! Use playdough to make big "I" shaped Islands where Ice cream cones live...

Shapes, Colors, Letters, Numbers - just make sure they are fun! I have a few more ideas - if people like this one...what do you do?

Painting" The Peace Dove by Pablo Picasso

The Schmoozer

I have an almost 3 year-old boy. Of course, like any kid, he loves treats or candy. We try to limit them at home, but people are so nice in the world, and he's not afraid to talk to strangers, so he asks anyone and everyone for a treat or piece of candy. At church, he will go up to strangers and say, "can I have a piece of gum?". Of course, people are flattered and usually have a mint or something, so he gets what he wants wherever he goes. I try not to let this happen if I am around, but I always worry when I leave him at playgroup, nursery, or with a babysitter. Any advice for the mom of a "schmoozing" 3 year-old?

Send him to me - oh, wait, I'm probably the person giving your kid the treats. I have to admit, I'm a veritable Pied Piper of treats. But, I know what you mean - you need some tools - for the times its not ok.

So, here's my mantra. You can't simply eliminate behavior...but, you can replace it. So, instead of saying, "Stop!" or "Don't do that!" you'll want to think of another action - one that is acceptable to you. It sounds like you don't mind him being social - it's more the sweet consequences. So here are some things to keep the social behavior but alter it, for example...

You could bring stickers and see if your child could offer stickers to friends instead of asking for food.

You could teach him to use the "give me five" phrase. Really make it fun, have him go ask people to "give me five" and if its fun enough the adventure becomes the reward. In order for it really to work you would have to roll play at home. Set up a row of stuffed animals on the coach and have him go up to Mr. Paws and say, "Give me five!" And you of course, would help Mr. Paws with the follow-through. Then, when you are in a social situation, you can ask him to go up to a good friend, and say "Give me five!" If its a production it will be more fun than candy - you hope. (Oh, and if high fives are too loud, go with an "ET phone home finger touch" or some other cool handshake). And I am guessing your 3 year old probably knows "give me five" - but not for this purpose.

You could bring your own stock pile of treats - and set up a rule. If he doesn't ask anyone for treats he can have one from you. This helps you know exactly what he is getting. And if you do this for awhile he would get out of his treat asking habit - because its probably a habit above all.

If those don't work, just keep thinking about the idea of replacing the behavior - and just decide what is acceptable to you. Good luck!


Illustration: The Pied Piper of Hamelin by Kate Greenaway

Use Your Words

When my child and another child are both trying to go for the same thing - be it a toy, the slide or climbing apparatus - I feel as long as they aren't pushing and shoving that it is ok to let them alone and have them work it out between the two of them with words...What do you think is the right thing to do?

If they using their words - great! Sit back and enjoy!

The phrase I say from morning to night is "Use your words...use your words." I say "use your words" when kids are crying, whining, pushing, jumping, and definitely fighting. Most little kids forget to "use their words" - a reminder is necessary.

But I would suggest if they are pretty little, even if they have the words, they don't know the right words. They don't know the ones that will fix the problem. So, if you can help them before the problem gets huge - why not? Hurry to their side like their very own superego...whisper the magic phrase, "Use your words."

If playground play is extra hard for your little one - then roll play at home with stuffed animals. Help them practice so they have the tools they need.

Let's face it - by the time I get to the park I'll I want to do is sit back and let them play. Anyhow, what do you think is the right thing to do?

Painting: Snap the Whip by Winslow Homer

How to say R's and S's

"Mom, I weally, weally, want to wun and wun with my fwiends" - I am pretty sure this is what I sounded like growing up! R's were my downfall.

A few little ones have trouble saying "r" and "s" - here are two little ideas that could help them...

If they can't say "r" then tell them to smile while they say it - it puts the mouth in the right position! (Try it while you read this - it really works!)

If they can't say "s" its probably because they have a gap - so remind them to make their teeth touch when they say "s" - perfect!

A lot of kids end up in speech therapy - but their are simply things you can help them do at home! They just need help - and a lot of practice!

Silk Screen: Les Oiseaux by Henri Matisse

It Worked!

At least for one little one - she describes what a good example roll playing in discipline can be! An idea she found reading about creative disciplining ideas right here, a previous Miss Angie post! Let us know what works for you - and what ideas are a complete flop. Its helpful to know what doesn't work as well!

Click on the colored words for the links! Its a really helpful story!

Feverish

My little one has run a low grade fever the last couple of days and I'm conflicted between taking him to see the doctor or waiting it out. Also, when he's a little bit sick like this should I allow him to cry it out in the night or should I go to him? Help!
Poor little one. And poor you. When you have a sick baby, don't you just want a friend or a sister or a mom around to help make all of the decisions. Someone to help talk it out. Its hard to know because every fever and every cough is slightly different...

Growing up, my Grandpa was a doctor, so we had a terrible habit of calling Grandpa and only heading to the hospital when it was desperate. I think this mentality has spilled over into how I do things. So, I guess this is as good a place as any to stick in a disclaimer - I'm not a doctor and have no doctoring degree. I'm just giving my own advice - and I'm just an Angie, an Angie with kids, giving the best advice I can.

My kids seem to get fevers with teething and immunizations and sometimes colds and on and on. So, I give my kids Tylenol right away when they get a fever. And then I wait and watch. And this is my big determining factor - if the fever breaks fairly well with medicine I don't go in. The fever will probably last several days (meaning on and off and with Tylenol doses as directed). It helps me to remember that a fever is the body's way of trying to get rid of illnesses - so its not always so bad.

I, personally, would rather stay away from doctor's office which is usually a nightmare - the waiting, the other sick kids, and of course the waiting some more. If its a fever and something more - I still wait and watch for at least three days. But if you're worried and the fever won't break - go in - its better to be safe than sorry.

But, here's one trick - did you know if you call your doctor and ask for a prescription over the phone - they will usually give you one! So, if you know they need something - call and firmly ask for a prescription - if you waffle they probably won't do it! But, its nice to know its an option!

What does anyone else use to decide?

Oh, and as for sleeping through the night - I'd throw all previous rules out the window for sick babies. Just help them and cuddle them. If they are waking up because they are sick - just help soothe them. If they really are sick it won't throw off sleep and such. Its just about getting through.


Painting: L'Infirmierre by Beatrice How

Traveling Tips

Give me traveling tips...Tips for traveling on airplanes, in cars, on buses, on trains...traveling without losing my mind, my temper, or my child and without without giving fellow travelers an hour-long high-pitched serenade accompanied by kicks to the back of the seat.

The best advice. Wrap everything. From books to crayons - whatever you bring wrap it. The wrapping is the exciting part for toddler on up. Don't waste your expensive wrapping paper; use old US Weekly's you have lying about, newspapers, or even printer paper. But, by wrapping each and everything you bring it extends and heightens the process. And the book you've read a thousand times is suddenly new again.

In fact, start hiding away great toys (small things) so they will start forgetting about them now.

Now, when Pandora open her box, it was all kinds of trouble - but having a box or a backpack to fill that is just for them is the best. So, bringing the right things is so important!


What to bring.
1. Stickers.
2. If you are planning on buying a few items - you have to try Crayola's model magic. It's the genius of playdough without the smell or crumbles. Its perfect for the plane.
3. Little kids like familiar books (so wrap and bring the best).
4. I think that bringing one doll or stuffed animal is always nice because if there is some disaster with spilled apple juice and your child is crying or starting to fuss you can always direct the attention to the doll. "How can we help baby - she is really crying right now..."
5. Something to draw with - (again, wrap all of the pens to stretch out the experience - there are also the Crayola Color Wonder pens that won't draw on anything but the special paper).
6. A balloon - to blow up and then let the air out on your child's hands, face, etc. (be sure to wrap even something as small as a balloon).
7. Of course, portable DVD players are genius. And kids love listening to your iPod - so be sure to fill it with music for them.
8. Baggies of food. Marshmallows. crackers. raisins. A little bit of a lot of things is more fun than a lot of one thing.
9. Mini bubbles - I know, it might seem strange on an airplane - but hey, if it works!

Other advice.
I bring Clorox wipes in a plastic bag - I wipe down all of the airplane seats and trays first thing. I just feel so much more at peace.

Get up an walk around on airplanes. And stop and make your child run (really run- enough to get sweaty) if you are in a long car trip.

Now, what has worked for you? Its summer - so everyone needs advice right now!

Painting: Pandora by Odilon Redon

Baby Bottoms

What do you do for diaper rash...any tricks I don't know?

When you walk into Bloomingdale's there are rows of make up counters, and behind the glass enough skin care products to soothe the skin of third world countries. Products like Superdefense Trip Action Moisturizer - SPF 25 - Dry to Very Dry Skin. Finding the right product for your baby can be just as overwhelming. Most people have their favorite (be sure to share). If I had to pick one, I would say Boudreaux's Butt Paste (the nicest smell, easiest to clean off my hands, and it does a nice job).

But the best way I've found is water. Just plain old water. Get rid of fancy jars and labels and products. If after every diaper change (which I would do more frequently for a sore behind) I then rinse the tiny bottom in the sink - they will heal up right away. I've had great and immediate luck! Its almost as if the alcohol in the wipes is just too rough. Sometimes I add a little hydrocortizone cream(but the label is plastered with consult your doctor). Water. Two days.

Painting: Baby Reaching for an Apple by Mary Cassatt

Imagination & Emotion

I have a question for you... is there a method to the madness of what to teach a kid when? My child knows most of his animals and body parts and I'm trying to decide if there is something I should focus on teaching him next? Seems like colors, numbers or the alphabet should be next.

Nope. No method.

Its really not about "the stuff" at the end of the day. Its about opening up a world of learning. Its really about the process.

Sure - sing the abc's - teach them about color - help them with numbers. But, its so much more fun to turn it all into an adventure. We like to "jump" the abc's. I hold him and jump - every letter a separate jump, each letter gets its own voice (so no confusion with the l,m,n,o,p part). And use numbers to turn off the water in the shower by counting 1 through 10 and shouting blastoff in the end.

But, don't forget about these two important topics...

Emotion! Its so fun to make the faces - babies, toddlers, and little kids love it! And its so important to start attaching emotion to their world. Point out when they are happy, point out when they are scared, angry, silly.

Imagination! The best part of being a kid is that they do this so naturally. They will stir all sorts of concoctions for you to taste. Just help them stretch and develop this talent. When my then four year old was suddenly nervous to go to sleep - I taught him to turn the ceiling into his canvas. We would draw imaginary vehicles and skyscrapers and wacky robots. Then we could erase parts with a wave of our arms. We would paint a picture every night before I said goodnight - and I told him he could stay up as long as he wanted - drawing anything.

Sidenote: at the Museum of Modern Art in NYC they have headsets for kids to listen to - they feel so old carrying it around. And certain paintings have kids commentary. At this Marc Chagall painting the recorded docent asked the child to find an upside down house...it turned it into an awesome hide and seek type experience.
Painting: I and the Village by Marc Chagall

Time-Outs - Yea or Nay?

I'm having trouble with the concept of "time-outs" with my almost 3-year old. I feel like I don't have many extra rooms in my apartment to make her stay in, so where do I put her? She won't seem to stay put on a chair, and there are so few corners to stick her in. How do I make her stay there? I like the Supernanny suggestion of a time-out for however many minutes they are old. I just don't know how to enforce it. Do you use time-outs or something else?
Here's the truth. I've done a lot of time-outs - I used a short stool in the bathroom. I used them - calmly and on occasion out of anger. But, here's the thing, they never really worked. Of course, I felt calmer after a few minutes without a naughty child at my toes, but I don't really think it helped them learn anything. A six year old can sit and think for awhile. But, there are only a handful of little ones that can really process a time-out. Its just too long - and not entirely effective in my experience.

I understand the reasoning behind it - if you do something naughty you get a break from the fun. But, here's how I look at it; child being naughty means something - they want attention, they don't know how to use their words, they want to try out throwing toys like they saw their friend do, or they could simply be frustrated because they are hungry. But, there is a reason. And I like to find the reason and fix that.

Okay, remember: a child would rather have negative attention than no attention.

This was really a huge concept for me. And one of the first things I ask myself is how much attention I have given my child on the day they are really being naughty - are they getting more attention from this disciplining exercise then they would for just playing - do they just want more of me? I was around, but sometimes, not so available. So, first things first, make sure you surprise your child and come play with them the moment they are the most happy. The minute they are the most content - sit by them then.

Ok, now that you've done this and they do something naughty - know that its just a lesson they need to learn. So, think of it less of them having bad behavior - but more of them needing to learn a lesson. Here's what I would try:

1. Give the toy a lecture. You know, the toy that is being thrown. Pick up that toy and really discipline the toy. Tell that toy how disappointed you are that it would try and smash into mommy - or how much that toy hurt. Tell the toy the consequence - that he could break the lamp or make someone bleed - so badly they would need a bandaid. Then, make amends with the toy. Accept the toy's apology. Let the toy kiss your cheek (yes, tractors can kiss) and then turn to you child to elicit their help. "Please, oh please help Tractor to drive on the ground or on the couch but not to throw through the air." (This way you are on your child's side and you are helping them see the consequences, and ultimately teaching them the proper way to use their toy).

2. Or, if there isn't a toy involved - give their favorite toy a time out on a high shelf or the refrigerator. Do it immediately (really hurry to get the favorite toy and put it up high) and say with as few words as possible, "Jojo can NOT play with you when you hit mommy." And then walk away. This way, they aren't getting your attention for doing a naughty act - its quick and painless - and really gets a point across. Sometimes, its harder to see your favorite toy in timeout than to be in one yourself. Leave the toy up until (even hours later) you child is happily doing anything. Then, hurry and get Jojo down. And in that moment warmly say, "You are eating (or playing with your blocks so nicely) that Jojo has to come down. She just wanted to be with you so badly." By the way, with this way, you have to use the favorite toy of the day. So, keep your eyes opened.

3. Now, I know that Supernanny is a big fan of "naughty mats" but I am not really. Especially, if that's its name. It goes back to the whole labeling thing. I have used the word in this post a lot - but I try never to use it at all around my children. I just hate the idea that they would associate themselves with the word naughty. So, be sure when you discipline you state simply what they did incorrectly.

4. I do know someone who didn't have a timeout - but a time in - I think they called timeout Hawaii. And it was a comfy place - with toys and a few books. And the idea behind it is - when you child feels better they play better. So instead of punishing, they wanted to get their child out of a "bad situation"; which usually meant away from themselves for a moment. So, they would say something like "I notice you are having a hard time keeping the blocks on the ground, why don't you rest in Hawaii until you feel like you can build with the blocks without them flying through the air." I've never tried it - but its really about finding the right fit for your child and you.

So, in summary, give them a time-out if you could use one. But, here are a few other tools for your arsenal. As always, I do not have the market cornered. So, what works for you? The more suggestions can only help!

Painting: Van Gogh's Chair by Van Gogh

Toys Disguised

I remember when you had your first, you were finding all sorts of household items that you could play with (i.e. making shapes on the floor with yarn). What other sorts of games/toys have you made up with run-of-the-mill things that your kids have enjoyed? or things they haven't enjoyed?

1. Wax paper is a brilliant toy for babies. They get to explore the crinkle and feel while crawling around.

2. Kitchen Utensils are the world's greatest toy. It doesn't matter what age - they are the best. So, I always like to have a bottom cupboard or drawer filled with the "safe" kitchen things: spoons, whisks, basting brushes, bowls, measuring cups, and of course an unplugged mixer.

3. Yarn on a sheet of sand paper is surprisingly sticky! Not as much fun as I dreamed - but a fun diversion occasionally. Likewise, yarn on carpet is fun - but little ones get tangled quite easily - so I only tried it on occasion.

4. Painters Tape is hands down the best invention. Babies can play with it more safely than other tape - because its not too sticky. Which is also the quality that makes it perfect for making designs on the ground. You should see the airports, roadways, and even sports arenas that come to life with just a little blue painters tape!

5. Empty glass baby food jars can be filled with all sorts of good baby shakables: rice, marbles, nails, a bouncy ball, just use your imagination. Just be sure to super glue or hot glue the lid shut.

6. As the get older - a purse or bag filled with random items is genius: the free credit cards that are fake you get in the mail, an old cheapy Casio watch, a small flashlight, key ring (with keys is the best). Baby's like to pull stuff out of things. And older children like to tote around a bag as well.

7. Fill a pot with potatoes and let a baby pull them out (do a sample run for them first). The "pull out" phase comes before the "put in" phase. So, when a baby can sit this starts to become a fun game.

What "free" ideas do you have?

Painting: Child with a Dove by Pablo Picasso

Screaming

I have a screamer!!! She's got a loud high pitch scream which she now does for fun, when ever her brother is near, or if she doesn't get her way. She's 18 mo. and all my tactics seem to be failing. Please help my ears and sanity PLEEEEEASE.....

So, here's the trick and the truth. You can't simply eliminate bad behavior - its so impossibly difficult...but, you can replace it. So, instead of saying, "Stop!" or "Hush..." or "I'm sending you to Nambia" here's an idea or two...

1. As soon as she screams you could hurry to her side and try to make a different noise - loudly "Ooooooo" or right in front of her face match her scream with a "La,la,la,la,laaaaaa." Remember, we are wee ones mirrors - and the youngest ones simply need a new habit - and you can give it to them.

2. You could also try turning a scream into a silly noise by running your horizontal finger up and down between the lips...I have no idea what its called...the way you make it sound like you are talking under water - you know - though...the silly noise (oh, this is just going to drive me crazy thinking of a name for this action/sound).

3. Or stick your finger in her mouth and tickle her tongue - pretty annoying, even to a 18 month old. Soon enough she might associate something not so nice with an open, screaming mouth. And say something like, "Oh, you wanted me to stick my finger in your mouth." PS. If she likes it when you do this - don't go with this - it could quickly turn into a "fun" game - abort mission.

4. Final idea, yell back - of course - not shouting but mimicking. You know, the copy game, it might make it worse - but one try wouldn't hurt.

Good luck!

Painting: The Scream by Edvard Munch

Rock-a-Bye Baby in the Treetop or Wherever You'll Sleep

Help! My son is seven months old and he doesn't know how to put himself to sleep. (I either nurse him or rock him for naps and bedtime.) This is a problem because he wakes up in the night--an average of two times--and I'm tired of getting up with him when the problem isn't hunger. I've tried letting him cry it out, but he just works himself into a frenzy and after an hour I give up. Plus I'm just a softie and his crying KILLS me. He won't take a pacifier (unless you count me as one). How do you teach a child to go to sleep on his own?

So, this is the hardest thing ever - in my opinion. Some very lucky people bring babies home who sleep through the night day one and two (not fair at all). Other people try the cry it out thing and it works like a charm (although if you haven't tried this and do want to try the Ferber-cry-it-out I would alter it slightly and let your baby cry for three minutes, go in and soothe them without getting them out, go in after six minutes, go in and soothe, and continue adding by three minute increments). But, a lot of babies will cry and cry and cry and work themselves up into hysteria.

Everyone always says 6 months is the time to get babies to sleep through the night. I personally think 8 months is better. They are just older and have more body control.

If a baby is getting up twice it probably means he is getting up right in between his sleep cycles (every three or four hours). Which means he just hasn't learned how to sleep through it yet and he does get a bit hungry just by routine - aka, its going to be a bit of a struggle. There is no magic fix.

But here are some other suggestions; the end result hopefully being a baby who can self soothe...
1. Change his last feeding time. Do it a little earlier than usual and help him to go to sleep an hour after he eats. This will not only help his stomach and sleep cycles be on different timing, but will help him with the process of going to sleep in the first place.

2. Give him a warm bath right before bed - not even necessarily to clean him, but to relax his muscles and body. I always feel a bit sleepier after a warm bath.

3. Post bath, lotion their body - a baby massage to also calm the muscles.

4. Now try to put him in his crib here are random ideas that could work (just try one at a time): wrap his legs in a blanket (tight like you would an infant - but don't do the arms, this age will fight arm wrappings but sometimes a leg wrapping helps them relax their body); play quiet music or soothing sounds (some kids will really focus on the sound and fall asleep); turn on a mobile.

5. Those are the quick fixes. If that doesn't work. You may have to rock him to sleep or hold him; just while he is learning to sleep without you as the pacifier. Once you decide, just don't go back, I swear they know when we are wavering. Anyhow, back to the rocking. If they aren't a thumb or paci kid then help them find something that will soothe. So, while you rock them, take a silky or chenille or any soft blanket and gently rub it on their cheek and and down over their eye lids. If you do this enough, it will teach them how to do it. And eventually, if they wake up in the night and see their blanket - they will reach for it and rub their own cheek with it. In other words, give your baby a tool. A sock to suck on; a pacifier to hold (yes, my little one liked to hold one); a chocolate soufle from Roy's (woops, that's what I like to help soothe) - the point is help them learn to soothe themselves by the way you soothe them.

6. Ok, now back to the crib. When your baby that can now fall asleep without you as a pacifier goes in the crib. You may have to sit beside the bed in the darkness. They may fall asleep - but want you there while they are doing it. Every night move farther away. Even sit outside the door and show them that you are there, just out of sight. Eventually, they will learn. Its slow and slow, but if you don't like the crying, its a choice.

I hope that all doesn't sound too crazy...




Painting: Le berceau (The Cradle) by Berthe Morisot in the Musee d'Orsay, Paris

Finicky Eaters

I need help with food for my almost 3 year old. I feel like I am in a rut, and that she isn't willing to try new things. What are some good food ideas that are nutritious and exciting for kids, and what are some ways to get kids to eat more? How many times do I need to have her try something before I realize she just doesn't like it? Or do I keep trying? Do I use the "go to bed hungry" tactic?

Do Not's
1. Don't give up. It takes ten (10) times of eating any food before we can truly determine if children like something (ok, I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate this if they knew, but there are so many new things, not only taste but texture, etc. to familiarize their little tongues to).

2. Don't worry about starving them. If they don't eat enough at dinner they will make it up the next day (of course children are much crankier without food, so I try not so much for their stomachs but for their moods). And literally their appetites are so small sometimes, but the instant they are growing they will eat so much better. So, worrying isn't worth it.

3. Don't leave them in their high chair too long - it makes crazy associations with food and feeling stuck or unhappy - so just be aware of this.

Do's (these are all debatable, but I'm all about new ideas, my personal favorite is last on the list)
1. Get creative. Kids like a challenge and something exciting, so really plate your meals in an exciting way. Instead of cutting their sandwich into four squares, cut them ragged and pile them high...a Ham Sandwich Mountain...put a dinosaur or a ballerina on top. Or, turn the squares into diamonds and present the sandwich as a butterfly - the favorite meal of fairies.

2. Name the food something different - if you've read I Will Not Ever Never Eat a Tomato (book cover on the side) they call tomatoes- moonsquirters; potatoes - cloud fluff; peas-green drops from Greenland. Boys love nasty Halloween phrases - guts, eyeballs, you know, the words that make us queasy.

3. Soup - Let them use a straw to drink it - Won Ton Soup, Gazpacho, Chicken Noodle...if they feel like it isn't aloud it will make it more fun.

4. Dads have the biggest influence on this sort of thing - if they eat something and love it - talk about how delicious broccoli is and how they know its why they are so tall and strong...it will make a huge difference.

5. Playing with their food - usually this is a sign children are finished. But for some kids if they can play with it long enough, they will absentmindedly put something in their mouth - so just be patient enough to learn which category your child fits in.

6. Dipping is the dream solution. Most kids love the process of dipping. With most meals, I like to have a "pool" for them to dip in - usually a separate bowl. So, a "pool of syrup" for most breakfast items - including fruits they aren't great at eating - kiwi, mango, passion fruit, blue berries. A "pool of ketchup, ranch, or Italian dressing" is also genius for tomatoes, cucumbers, celery, whatever else. For some magic reason, dip, dip, dipping is a wonderful tool.

7. Eat with them. A lot of times meals are a chance to get errands done, but if they are having a hard time eating, I would change your habit for a few weeks. Just to send this message - what you eat is so important I want to sit here and watch you do it!

8. Finally, and I am not embarrassed to admit this - candy. That's right - straight up bribery. I have been doing this lately and my two year old is eating foods he never would have dreamed of trying (because it is always the trying that's hard). I literally sit next to him with an unseen pile of jelly beans. And for every bite of something I ask him he can get a jelly bean. It goes like this, "Chase if you eat that asparagus you can have a jelly bean." Half way through eating he wants the jelly bean, "Chase you have to finish eating the asparagus. Chew, chew, chew and swallow it...and then you can have candy!" He has eaten so many things - and he is getting over the fear of it. So now, when he sees a green bean, he knows he has eaten it and he tries it again without the candy...not always. But, a lot! I know many people would roll over in their grave, but hey, its working.


What works for you?

Painting: Apples, Peaches, Pears, and Grapes by Paul Cezanne

Baby #2

What can I do to prepare my first child for the arrival of a second child?

To start with I'll paraphrase Doctor Zimmerman , "When you have a second child, you get to teach the first child the best lesson and hardest lesson in their own home -- that they aren't the center of the universe."

My first reaction is - what a harsh thought. I want my child to feel they are the center of the universe. But after thinking about this idea enough, I see its value. What a wonderful gift to give a child, to help them learn to care about those around them, to love more than just themselves, to think about other's needs.

So, how to help them prepare...

Roll Play
I am really big into roll play. In other words, before baby #2 I used a doll and increasingly paid more and more attention to him. I knew that jealousy can be apart of a new baby's arrival - and I wanted to get it out of their system on a doll, and not the newborn. So, literally, I would hold the doll - a lot. I would talk to it, sing to it, pretend to change its diaper - and then slowly, I would invite #1 to help me. To sing with me, to bring the diaper to me...just involving him.

And when #1 would want to play blocks I would respond with something like this, "What a wonderful idea, its such a wonderful idea that I think baby doll would love it to...should we ask him?" And then as we played blocks, I would say something like, "Look how silly baby is, he wanted to play blocks but he is just sitting there. But you know how to use your hands to build such a tall tower. I think maybe baby doll just likes to watch you build...just like I do."

Nursing Box
This is probably my greatest idea of all time. I was really concerned about the time newborns feed, and I didn't want the jealousy to grow. So, before #2 came, I created a nursing box. I bought all sorts of quiet play time activities (you know, the things you bring on a plane trip). And I filled the box, wrapping some of the things (and then frequently rotated the activities). And when #2 came, I called it "Nursing Time" which meant newborn ate, and #1 could get out his box. There weren't very many jealousy issues, and after enough time, it just became routine.

Warning
Regression is sometimes a part of the process, but calling the older one - "big brother" or "big sister" sometimes makes it worse. They are reminded - that being big means they don't get to be held constantly, and would rather be little. So just use their name, and keep pointing out all of the things they know how to do.

Sigh
Its a relief that infants really won't remember what you say and do with the older one. So, a lot of times, when the baby would pull hair or something - I would look at #1 and giggle and say, "Can you believe how silly babies are...he thinks pulling hair is like a hug...oh, silly baby." And the laugh would help teach #1 how to respond.

Even at the park the other day, an older #2 crashed down a sand castle of #1, and instead of being devastated I said, "Is Chase pretending to be a tornado again? Chase thinks its tornado time...maybe you can build another castle and he can be a hurricane this time."

Phone Code

How do you keep your children quite while your on the phone?

The truth is, I don't. This isn't my area of expertise.

But, I did try one thing that worked for awhile, and I can at least share this silly idea (warning: it is pretty silly)...

I invented a secret code - its more fun for your kids if they are in on a conspiracy. The plan was, if I was on the phone and they needed me, they could come and put their hand on me knee. This was the signal, and if I noticed their hand, I would tap back. The tap back would mean = I know you want to talk to me, but I am on the phone, so when I'm off I'll come talk to you. If it was so important they couldn't wait then they would keep their hand on my knee and I would keep tapping which would mean = I know its important, I am going to hurry and finish talking. The secret code worked for awhile - but that's all I've got.

Labels are for Jam Jars

I had no idea that I was guilty of this. I wouldn't dream of calling my kids lazy or dumb - but here's the thing: labeling doesn't only apply to negative labels - it applies to positive labels as well.

Jeffrey Holland said, "You may say most positively that "Susan is pretty and Sandra is bright," but all Susan will remember is that she isn't bright and Sandra that she isn't pretty." This is why labeling is dangerous - it seems to pigeonhold a child.

For example, here are phrase and labels I have been guilty of using...
"You are such a great helper."
"What a great artist you are!"
"You are so athletic."
"Wow, you are such a smart boy."

Ok, I know what you are thinking, if I can't say those to praise my child, what can I say? This is what I learned...it is much more powerful to describe the action. So instead of saying something about being a helper, try describing whatever they did to help..."You are so great at putting your toys away in the basket when I asked you. I really needed your help. Thank you." Or when they bring you a finished art project, "Wow, I love the way you colored such thick lines here - and I love the circles over in this corner - I love this color you chose!"

What this does is help children understand what makes them so great! It helps them identify and accurately process their actions. It will help them in school and in life. I know that even as adults we make this mistake, we may be the "creative" friend - but when we aren't feeling creative, we can feel without purpose.

I still say "helper" and fall into labels - but I have really seen that it is harmful. A child who thinks he is a "great writer" - may find himself confused when writing isn't easy for him when he's in school - but a child that knows he is "great at using adjectives" will understand his own talents.

It takes more time - but its pretty great! Thanks to Cheryl for some of these great thoughts!

Extending Wake up

How did you get your child not to get out of their bed too early in the morning?

My kids are early risers - but its my own fault because they go to bed at sevenish - so 11 or 12 hours is a pretty good night. The general rule - if the sun is up, you can get up, if not, stay in bed. But, the times I want a little extra shut eye myself, I've tried this trick...

In a clean room, I simply set out a few puzzles, or toys (this is another topic, but I rotate toys, just so I always have a newish toy ready). Anyhow, if there is a new something out before they reach their door, they will usually sit down and play. I have built a house out of books - just something different to draw their attention.

Any other good ideas?

No Biting, No Fighting

My little one has pushed a few kids at the playground lately...I am not sure how to handle it. I can tell parents want to see me resolve the issue but I just don't know how best to do it.

I'm going to divide this question into two answers. I'll call the first part "Damage Control" or what you could try at the park. And the second part will be called "Preventative Measures" or things you can try before the park.

Damage Control
The firm way would probably be to rush over saying "No" and then giving your child a timeout...but here's why I don't think that is the most effective. Imagine you are the child, you are playing in the sand and something frustrating happens and in response you push or hit another child, by the time your mom hurries over to scold, you are playing happily again. So, when you are standing of the edge of the park in a timeout, you are confused as why you are being punished and instead of feeling remorse or empathy for the child you have hit, you are feeling anger at your mother for making you stand at the edge. Confusion and Anger aren't great side effects of punishment.

Here's another way...rush over to your child, get down at their level (eye to eye), and in a soft gentle voice help them see the consequences of what they have done. Ie. "When you hit Jason look how sad he feels, and I feel sad when you hit. Hands aren't for pushing/hitting, they are for scooping in the sand, or climbing the ladders. We are so sorry Jason - can we get you a bucket to play with?" I would then move your child to a different place in the park, to try again. It isn't fun if the same friends get hurt over and over. So, be sure to take your child home if they are hitting a lot - not as a punishment, but as a way to get them out of a bad situation. They are probably tired or hungry if they are extra feisty.

The one thing to keep in mind - Negative Attention is better than no attention. So, as long as they aren't hitting to have you rush to their side, then continue to lovingly teach them. And in the meantime, rush over to their side when they are playing the happiest and say something like, "I noticed that you were using your hands to climb and dig and I had to come tell you how happy I feel." Give them they most attention when they are playing nicely.

Preventative Measures
I have found that the playground isn't the best learning environment - its more like getting through a trip then really gaining "no hitting" skills. There is too much opposition.

So, here are a few ideas...at home when your child is playing, go sit near them and start playing (not with them, but beside them), and narrate your play.
For example, say out loud..."I love to make my doll walk, it makes me happy, wow, I can really make her run fast, this is fun! (Then look at what your child is playing with and pretend to want it). I see that James has a car, that might be more fun. I really want that car. Should I take it? Nooooo, that would make him sad. But, I really want the car, maybe I should push him. No, that would make him sad and I would feel sad. I don't want to make him feel sad, maybe I could use my words. Yes! I'll use my words! (to your child) Can I have a turn when you are done, James? Thank you, thank you, you made me so happy! I feel so happy that I used my words." You get the idea - give your child the tools to help them make better decisions.

Also, on the walk to the park, be sure you lay out expectations. "At the park, you can run, and get in the water, and climb the slide. At the park, we aren't going to push or hit or take toys away from other children. And if a child pushes you, why don't you hurry away and go on the slide, that would be more fun." Help them know the plan.

Sometimes its hard to stop something - so replacing bad behavior is easier than eliminating it. So, if your child is pushing a lot - help change the motion to a hug or something different. At home you can practice. Don't make the mistake of calling a push a hug. When they push you or a sibling, just say something like, "When you use your arms for hugging me I feel so happy...like this (and help them give you a hug)." This fills them with positive attention instead of negative attention for telling them to stop pushing.

Ok, there are a few ideas, but I know you all have tricks, so chime in. This way we can be extra helpful for those with this question!

Sleep Baby Sleep

My baby will not take a nap - what should I do?

I think that having a well rested baby and child is one of the biggest gifts you can give a child. I am a believer that children need a lot of sleep. The idea of tiring out a child just doesn't work for bedtime - they will eventually sleep - but in the end a well rested child will be happier, make better choices, which means less tears and anger. So the energy you put into a sleeping little one will really make your life easier!

First things first, remember when you would hold your infant in your arms and watch every breath and see them fall deeper and deeper into sleep - you would notice every twitch, every eye flicker? This is the very information that will help you discover what kind of sleeper you have. Some babies fall into deep sleep right away, others need 15 and some it takes 30 minutes. How do you know if they are in deep sleep - well, if you lift their limp arm in the air and drop it and it falls like a rock - they are in deep sleep.

Ok, now take that information, and realize that when you are putting your now 6 month old baby to bed - they are going to need quiet - good quiet while they fall into deep sleep.

Some babies love their crib more than anything - this will make it easy if your baby is in this category. If not, you will need to detoxify the crib...no, not with a certain cleaning product..."detoxify the crib" is my own made up term for making the crib a happy place. This means doing whatever you can do to make the crib your baby's happiest place (besides your arms). So here are a few ways to make it happy (do these for at least two weeks if your child doesn't like the crib)...

1. Let your baby play with toys in it - but don't leave them so long they cry - only a few minutes - long enough to create happy memories.


2. Get in the crib with your baby - I know, it seems wrong, but if you like to be in there, they will!


3. Never rush in and sweep up your crying baby out of the crib (unless they are sick) try and help them be happy before you pick them up ie. peek a boo or tickling games


4. Be sure they get their special blankets, pacifiers, whatever they love the most

And then once the crib is the happiest place, focus on the first nap. This means as soon as your baby wakes up watch them like a hawk, as soon as they yawn (not the wake up yawn) but the first sleepy sign...rubbing eyes, yawning, sometimes sadness...put them down. This may be an hour after they are up - but if you can get a first nap in right away - the second nap and bedtime will be so much easier.

I am a fan of wrapping little babies, and older babies I sing a little song or something - the same thing every time to signal - nap time. Some babies like music - but some its too stimulating - so just be wary.

Novels are written on this subject - so this is just the beginning. And its almost ironic because although my kids really love nap time and sleeping - this week it hasn't been so ideal. My two year old learned to escape from the bed and is in the middle of getting up and getting up. I'm in the midst of a calm - return to bed - no extra cuddles, just persistence project. Sigh...so for me - be sure and add ideas for toddlers who get up and up and up...I have a few others, but my general rule of thumb - is if you do something consistently for two weeks with no luck - its probably not a match for your child...and I'm at seven days and counting!

Painting: Sleeping Child Covered with Blanket by Henry Moore