I Know My Telephone Number!

Any ideas on how to help my kids memorize our home phone number and address?

I say a song - one you make up or know.

Does anyone but me remember the Safety Kids? If you click on Brite Music, then scroll down, you can hear a piece of the Telephone Song.

Here's my little guy singing a made-up number over and over...

Hugs and Kisses

Stop.

Give your little ones

extra hugs

and kisses.

Take them by surprise,

wait until they are doing something

extra naughty,

and when they are

go and give them

a great big squeeze!

Tell them that you will always love them!

Isn't it nice to be taken by surprise!

Painting: Maternity by Pablo Picasso

Independent Walkers and Thinkers

Or The Treacherous Target Toy Aisle

I have a 17 month old boy. He likes to walk with me instead of being carried or being in a stroller, etc. He doesn't run away from me or anything, he just wants to do his own thing. I take my time with him and let him look, stop and do something but when I tell him to come, he never does unless I come take his arm (which usually results in the limp body trick).Are there any ways to help him obey my directions or is it too early to expect that???

It sounds like you've got a bright and independent little one! From the little bit you said, I would guess that obeying directions isn't really his style (yet). I think that you may have to help him decide that you want the same thing. Inspire his decision, make him believe that he decided it.

Example: Going to Target can be the longest experience of my life because the seven toy aisles take an hour to browse. But, if instead of saying, "Its time to go to the next aisle," I try something like feigning enthusiasm, runninh down the aisle exclaiming, "Look! Diego toys! Oh, wow, oh, look over here - Dora! I see Dora down here! Oh, look, this next aisle has even more toys! Come push this button, you've got to see what this Scoop can do!" Doing it this way we can get through the treacherous Target toy aisle in ten minutes! I set the tone and they were none the wiser.

So, I would suggest you lean down and whisper in his ear (almost like a secret) what you want him to do. Here are some words to try: "I just remembered there is a red fire truck in the car - I wonder where the car is?" OR "I see a big yellow bus over there - I wish I could see it" (the bus or other vehicle would be closer to your destination) OR "What is that over there? I wish I knew?"

Of course, I would start introducing the idea of following directions. Pick one or two things that are really important and just don't budge. So, if he wants to walk then be sure that when you come to a street you explain that he needs to hold your hand you you need to hold him. Give him to options and then if he doesn't choose, you choose. And just stick with it. It doesn't matter if the street is empty - its about principle. So, pick a few things (few being the key word) and don't budge. It will help him as he gets older to know that when you say something you really mean it!

Good luck!

Painting: Garden at Vétheuil by Claude Monet

Becoming a New Mom

Originally Posted 7/3/07

I'd love any advice on surviving (& enjoying) the first months after your first baby is born. Any tips, thoughts, suggestions that you wish you had known before diving into motherhood? Everyone says to "enjoy your sleep now" and "go to the movies with your husband", but what about the day to day reality of having a new little person in your life?

First, its so wonderful. There is really something remarkable about babies.

But, in truth, there is also a lot of awkwardness as well. And knowing about the awkward, less than marvelous moments help prepare you for the truth of it all. So, in the name of truth...here are things I wish I knew.

1. Newborns take forever to eat. So literally, out of three hours, babies nurse an hour of that. A third of your entire day is nursing (or bottle feeding). And its really awkward and painful at first. So just hang in there. Did I mention its painful - I would say far worse than birth - but it often gets over looked!

2. You have to wear a bra 24 hours a day. Especially at first, your body produces a lot of milk, and if you don't want to wake up soaking wet - you wear a bra to bed (with your Lansinoh disposable breast pads - hands down the best). So be sure to buy at least one nursing bra without an under wire.

3. You will be doing laundry every moment of every day. I swear - babies spit up on every piece of available cloth - and you! - so keep the extra blankets from the showers - they will come in handy! And be prepared to change clothes a lot - its not the baby clothes that fill up the washer - it will be your clothes.

4. Those mean doctors - literally they will cut a slice out of your baby's foot (heal to be precise). Apparently little finger pricks aren't enough. About a week after your baby is born - there is one blood test that literally starts with a slice. I was so shocked - I wish I would have known. (Oh, and I really liked my doctor - just not the 4cm heal slice.)

5. You cannot hold your newborn too much. I remember feeling worried I was starting off spoiling my child with all the family attention - and then I would literally hold him through most of his naps to help him sleep. But, don't worry, you can't even dream of spoiling them until they are six months old. Just help them feel secure! Its ok, hold them as much as you want.

6. It's so busy. The first few weeks you will really wonder how to do it all. So, keep expectations of yourself really low. Making dinner was really too much for me in the beginning...so don't feel like a failure. Give yourself two months to do nothing but get accustomed to the new routine.

7. It's so slow. That just sounds awful. But, after you get the routine of it all, you find yourself with extra time. Babies just sleep a lot. I loved to read with the extra time - but if you don't - plan projects for yourself. Things in the house. Buy some cook books - and think about trying out new recipes. Start a journal. Plan a trip. Just know that you will have a lot of down time.

8. Baby gear - there is so much and its hard to know what is important. Maybe people can expand on the gear topic...but I know that a changing table is surprisingly nice. Your back really starts to ache after using your bed so many times - its just at an awkward height. Oh, and I did really love my rocking chair - but be sure to get soft sides!

Painting: Mother and Child by Gustav Klimt

Computer Play

No one told me about this type of thing when I had a little one...so in case you didn't know there are great keyboard-a-rama games. You know, when you push the "T" on the keyboard you Tickle Elmo on the screen. This is great for little fingers who can push one key at a time all the way up to kids who are learning their numbers.

Click Below to try...

Sesame Street Workshop

Fisher Price - Learn Your ABC's

Anyhow, there are a ton, if you have a great one you should share!

Picture: Flowers by Andy Warhol

Hansel and Gretel Style or How to Cure Clinginess

My one year old is entering a really clingy phase. He used to play really well on his own, but now he follows me around and pulls on my pant legs and cries. He really just wants to be held or engaged. All. Day. Long. So is this a normal--and temporary--phase? Is there anything I can do? I'm not sure if I should ignore him (it doesn't seem to make him stop) or if I should indulge him. Any suggestions?

Normal. Totally Normal. But "normal" doesn't make it enjoyable.


I vote for something in between indulging and ignoring...


Remember when your baby would happily play with the remote like it was the greatest toy alive. It would genuinely consume him for an hour; or at least until he sat it down because he saw that the chair was near and he needed to experience that too. Well, I'm sorry to say, that those days are sadly more behind than ahead of you. Because your baby's memory is developing it isn't as interesting to play with the same toys all of the time. In fact, to play really well, he has to be really interested.


I'm all about "sorting and classifying" my toys. For example: the puppets, the playdough, the blocks, the cars, the Little People, the foam puzzles, etc. all have their own spot. And when its play time, I get down one thing. The puppets - for a one year old it would be just a five-ish minute play. And then (here's the key) I take it away before it gets boring. Then, give him the blocks and again, take it away while he's still wanting more. I know it takes some work - but the idea is to start stretching their play time. Its a learned (not innate ability) to sit and entertain yourself.


Ok, second part, you need to start creating some distance. Not all at once - because his memory is just learning that when you leave you might not come right back. So, you want to help him understand what happens when you exit the room. So, plop that fun toy down and hurry towards the exit to the room - but don't go out. Just watch him far enough away that he can still see you. Then, everyday scoot farther back. Literally, a big step at a time. And try and come back before he wants you. Try to switch the toys fast enough that he doesn't have time to get worried about the distance.


This may seem like a lot of juggling of toys and you - but if you work on it for two weeks consistently you'll start to see a change.


At one point, sit out of the room so that he can feel comfortable playing and just seeing a leg. And then, for awhile, be right outside or around a corner. So, that if he crawls to find you, you are right there. I'm not really big on hurrying to them when they cry because they are missing you -- because it sends the message that if "I cry she'll come faster." So I like to let him come to me...and then pretend that you barely notice his cry - just his presence.


Finally, I'd put a few extra awesome toys in his path. Hansel and Gretel style - but instead of bread crumbs leave out a kitchen pot or a set of measuring cups. A few things to slow him down will stretch the time he is away from you. Little by little, he'll trust that you aren't far if you aren't visible.

Sorry for the novel :)

Painting: Carnations by John Singer Sargent

"Boy and Girl Stuff"

i have a darling 3 year old boy. he LOVES his blankie and could carry it around everywhere. but, we've limited it only to the house. for the last 8 or so months, he LOVEs wrapping his blanket around him like a "skirt". i thought this was cute at first but now, he does it ALL THE TIME. my question is...should i IGNORE this completely and try not to teach him about "boy" and "girl" stuff--is it destructive to label stuff for a girl or boy? i know this doesn't seem like a big deal to most people, but it really has started to bug me...what do you think i should do, if anything?!

First, I would say, don't really worry. Three is the time they really start to mirror their world. And you are his world. So, wearing a skirt doesn't mean anything to him. In fact, I would avoid saying things like, "skirts are for girls" because it only draws attention to it and he probably doesn't really understand the concept of girls vs. boys (sure he can point out girls and boys, but it doesn't mean what it means to us). So, he could be doing it out of exploration. ie. When I do this - mommy notices in a different way then when I finish a puzzle, hmmm.

Second, I want to validate how you feel. Its ok that you think about it a lot. And of course, you'll love him no matter what. You will just want to be careful about how you express your worries. So, I've tried to think of some solid ideas...I'm thinking that you could try being positive. For example, my little boy's favorite color was purple - purple, purple and more purple. And I would always say, "What a royal color" - because purple is indeed a royal color. So, when he wears it like a skirt you could say, "You look like a knight wearing a tunic - wow, you really make a great knight." Just think of all the kilt wearing men and tunic wearing kings, knights, peasants. Just express it the way you would like him to have it perceived.

Third, if its time to start making the blanket smaller, Kevin Henkes has a great book about a little boy named Owen who takes his blanket everywhere. Its a cute book where the mom ends up cutting the blanket into four smaller pieces so that he can take them everywhere. Its a cute idea, when the time is right. Its also an un-skirtable size if that's a solution that would work for you.

Fourth, really, don't worry! And don't label girl/boy stuff - they start doing it themselves at four or five anyhow.

Anyhow, good luck! Thanks for asking!

Painting: "Portrait of Artist's Son" by Järnefelt

Knights Templar Tapestry

You Brush My Teeth, I'll Brush Yours

My sister is in town; aren't Aunties the best?! Anyhow, my boys aren't the most enthusiastic teeth brushers -- so I asked her to do it (hee, hee).

Anyhow, I walked in on my little ones brushing her teeth. She had done a swap -- what a genius idea. She did theirs first and they got to do her's as the reward.

Thought I would pass it along - so simple - but really great!

Fragment of a Tapestry or Wall Hanging, ca. 1420–1430German; Made in Basel, Upper Rhine ValleyTapestry weave: wool on linen; 33 7/16 x 29 1/2 in. (85 x 75 cm)The Cloisters Collection, Metropolitan Museum of Art